Well, what a year this year has been so far. As I’m sure many other novice writers out there will agree, sometimes life seems to take over and before you know it, it has been a few months and the total number of words on your WiP has amounted to a measly, 5! (I am actually being optimistic when I say that because mine probably amounts to even less!)
This is exactly what has happened to me this last year. My home/work life took over every spare minute I used to have writing, and completely swallowed it all up. All of it. Nothing left. Well no actually, that’s a small fib. The time I did have left to write, I spent telling myself I was rubbish so why bother. I had a massive confidence crisis and slowly but surely, all my self belief drained out of my body.
As many of my friends know, I am a very strong believer in Fate, and things happening for a reason. Really, it does! Even the really really rubbish things – there’s a reason for those too. Even though at the time they may not necessarily be clear to us.
And after a few stressful months battling along the rough sea, I feel I have hit the calm. It’s very tranquil here and I have decided to pitch up and stay. Throughout the recent years that my writing has become a main factor in my life, everytime I slide away from it – be it because of family life or work – I always end up right back here. In the comfort of my little writing bubble. And I’m starting to think maybe this is it. This is where I am destined to be. Yes, I have enjoyed all the other roads I have strolled down and all the other professions I have trained in, but never am I more content than when I am in my writing bubble.
This last year I have thrown everything into trying to create a new career for myself. I set myself up to apply to University, train up, and begin my journey on a new road. But the whole time I felt like I was running against the tide. Everything that could go wrong, was going wrong. It was almost like Fate was screaming at me that it wasn’t the right road to take, but there was me, skipping along, trying to be determined and keep wading through all the toot it brought with it. But one too many things went pear shaped and it hit me – this isn’t my path.
I’m sure Fate did a victory dance when I cancelled my application. ‘Hallelujah! The woman’s finally listened, stubborn cow!’
So here I am, back at my trusty keyboard and I feel great. My self belief isn’t quite up to par yet and my confidence is still dragging its feet behind me, but I’m here and I’m writing. And I’m here to stay. I love my book, I think it has huge potential and I just need to believe in it and get it done. I have an incredible amount of support from so many people, both in the writing industry and out, and I am so very grateful for each and every one of you who take the time to encourage me and show your support.
Thank you x